The Doctor Operates...

Monday, September 11, 2006

Tag, I'm it.

Er.

Hello all.

It took me some time to figure out that I've been tagged.

Which was so graciously done by Chamique.

And then BB from Dilettante reminded me that I was being remiss.

So.

Here it is.

I'm not always so frowny.




Sunday, August 27, 2006

TATA SKY

As the Bawa behemoth continues acquiring thriving businesses abroad, BB draws my attention to its Satellite Television initiative.

Just as elsewhere, you can now view all your favourite channels (and PPV movies) directly from home without worrying about your Cable Guy. The cost is 4k for the installation of the box and its activation.



Their introductory offer is a monthly charge of 200 bucks per month. But that's only for the first 4 months, after which you will be charged on usage - payment for which can be made by buying top-up cards. Like so.



CAUTION: It is of course moot as to what your monthly costs are after that inaugural period.

The channels that they offer are here.



Anyway, its an option worth exploring, what?

Saturday, August 26, 2006

Anything to declare, Sir?

The recent paranoia prevailing at airports across the world has brought a flood of reactions. BB directed me to the one I like best. This is what Ryanair believes security checks will be like in the near future.



Something to look forward to, eh? Remember the rule, though - ONLY ONE LAPTOP allowed.

It is good to know that at least a sense of humour survives. Notwithstanding attempts to make it a casualty.

Friday, August 25, 2006

LV (ii)

This week's 55 - in response to Chamique and BB. Am pasting them all here in order so you don't have to go to and fro.

========
I’m healed, an old man proclaimed to the curious cameras.

She elbowed her way through the crowd and stepped gingerly into the murky water.
Maybe it would go away. Maybe what medicine couldn’t cure, a miracle would.
She pushed stray polythene aside and closed her eyes, praying softly as she sipped at the fleeting sweetness.

========
Neptune was tired of these hairy biped mammals invading his world, raping his children and pillaging his garden. And now this; they’d found the source of his everlasting youth and of Amphitrite’s beauty.

“No more!” he thundered.

As he sent Carcharodon onwards and upwards to do his bidding; she gently lowered herself into the water…

========
As the mammoth carnivore eased through the depths, she had something on her mind.

The well had sprung a leak three thousand miles away, off the Indian coast.

It was all very well for Neptune to set her to the task, as he sat frolicking with dolphins and damsels.

She should have brought a book.

========

Saturday, August 19, 2006

LV

For a while now, BB and Chamique have been indulging in very imaginative 55 word stories that they post on their respective blogs every Friday. One of them begins by posting a 55 word narrative, to which the other responds with an equally worded effort taking the thread forward. A few weeks ago, the latter chose to abandon her legions of readers by callously not responding to BB's weekly initiative. At this point, armed with a degree in altruism and half a dozen exercisable fingers, I leaped in the breach to carry the baton for that week.

Other 55s have followed (all with Chamique back at her post), but I have found myself haplessly drawn towards adding my own modest efforts to that of the pioneers. Earlier today, BB suggested that instead of hiding my contributions away in the Comments on his blog, I should post them here. As a result, here is my response to the Fifty.Five. by BB and the Fifty five by Chamique (to be read in that order).

----------

A bit of the viscid mixture was still on her fingers as she opened the door. She quickly massaged it into her full, round lips. Salty.

A kafir watched her and smiled appreciatively.

Bastard.

-----------

Somewhere, Akram sat staring at the bottle in his hand.

Fuck.

He'd given her the cyanide paste instead of the vaseline.

-----------

Update: Dibyo carries it on from here. Anybody else?

-----------

Update 2: Its good to see that there are others. Dhoomketu and The Invisible Man have taken it forward. Taking a leaf out of the former's book, the story as it stands is below:

************
The airplane had been airborne an hour when she entered the toilet. She looked into the mirror and hated the girl of twenty going on sixty that she saw. The horrors she had seen and the family she had lost….

She mixed lip-gloss with Vaseline, stuck her mobile in the goo and walked out.

Slowly…

*****

Between the clothes, she tucked in small surprises. Moisturising lotion for her grandmother. Seaweed hair gel for her grandfather. The cologne her brother had been hinting at...

Later, she realised her lip-gloss had been checked in as well.Maybe she’d ask the girl next to her for some when she got back from the toilet.

*****

A bit of the viscid mixture was still on her fingers as she opened the door. She quickly massaged it into her full, round lips. Salty.

A kafir watched her and smiled appreciatively.

Bastard.

Somewhere, Akram sat staring at the bottle in his hand.

Fuck.

He'd given her the cyanide paste instead of the vaseline.

*****

She looked sort of hot (in an Asian way), though not friendly. That made him think. In the end he decided to give it a go, anyhow.

"May I borrow your vaseline, please? It's dry in here"

He added a friendly but restrained smile for effect. She looked around uncomfortably. He tried to look cool.

*****

She handed him the empty tube."It's not mine, it's available in the restroom. Go get one for yourself."

It was the friendliest she could be with kafirs.

She licked her lips again while sitting down. Salty.

Somewhere in her bag, the vaseline bottle had leaked open. Akram didn’t know that and pulled the trigger.

*****
First, cyanide for Vaseline, and now, a jammed trigger. Akram wasn’t having a great day.

-----------

Empty tube in hand, Grober made a beeline for the restroom. I should have killed the bitch. Oh well, there’s still an hour to go before we land. He smiled cruelly. And saw the phone. The phone of his dreams.

Saturday, August 12, 2006

Aw.

Thanks to Dilettante, I now know why the Hutch network signal has been weak for the last few days -

P.S We're praying for Shah Rukh to be careful.

Friday, August 11, 2006

Poached.

On 9th August,2006 the Times of India on its front page said this:

"Imbali Jose is the new Veerappan. The forest police are now seeking him in the Nilgiris, where his predecessor had made a name killing tuskers and men."

On 11th August, 2006, the Times of India on its front page says he's dead. Here:

"Forest officials said Jose was suffering from kidney failure apart from a few other ailments. He was cremated on Thursday at his village, Pulpally, in Waynad district of Kerala."

That is funny.