The Doctor Operates...

Saturday, August 05, 2006

For all Bachelors!!!

A few weeks ago, I received a mail from a friend. She was actually writing to her brother who had left the city recently to advise him on how to set himself up in his new environs. The brother and I share initials, and so she wound up allowing autocomplete to make an error on the addressee. (Technology, I tell you.)

Happily, I ran my eye through the elaborate epistle, full of admiration for the sibling affection that could give birth to such painstaking effort.

I think it a crime to deprive all males (particularly South Indian ones) the knowledge of how to prepare oneself in strange lands (which includes Delhi).

So, here goes:

hi g.....* -

Looooong list – exhaustive and exhausting – chapters one to gazillion of 'how to move to d....* for dummies' . mummy seems to think you have the IQ of a slow camel .
These are the things you have to buy for the kitchen – beginning with food things , going on to kitchen aids , then things for the house .

Food chain –

- 1 kg rice – I say high fibre brown , but remember , needs about an hour extra soaking before cooking in order to cook well .
- 2 kg atta – should look slightly brown , that tells you it hasn't been too refined .
- 1 kg sugar – I say brown demerar , but whatever .

- 1 ltr refined vegetable oil – remember cholesterol runs in the family – so go in for something low in trans-fat , low HDL , high LDL . read the labels if none of that made sense . never use peanut oil , coconut oil . if you like , some extra virgin olive oil for dressings .
- Arhar dal ½ kg – apparently it is yellow in colour .
- Masoor dal ¼ kg – apparently orange when raw .
- Chilli powder – red – 100 gms .
- Dhania powder 100 gms .
- Haldi 50 gms .
- Mustard seeds whole / Rai – 50 gms .
- Jeera seeds 50 gms.
- Salt – to taste – ha ha ha!
- Pepper – whole black peppercorns 50 gms , powder I pkt . I say also get a pepper mill to get fresh ground pepper , and a salt 'n 'pepper set for the dining table .
- Chaat masala – don't worry , contains black salt , so will be able to stink up whole apartment complex .
- Aamchur , Tamarind paste packet – to add 'khatta' to select dishes .
- Ginger paste packet
- Garlic paste packet
- Tomato puree – look for one without additives and preservatives .

- 25 gms cloves
- 25 gms cinnamon
- 25 gms cardamom
- 'masala cubes' – I think means those lumps of artificial flavours and salt and ajinomoto that are powdered over food to mask blandness . wish had magic cubes for people . would sprinkle over many .
- Garam masala powder

- Veggies and almost food – potatoes , tomatoes , onions , eggs , bread , cheese (hard , low fat) , butter ( I say table margarine low fat) , green chillies ( ruuuuuun foooooor yooouuuuur liiiives ) , fresh green coriander , any two green veggies, e.g bhindi or beans , or leafy green veg like palak ( but need to know how to cook the leafy ones ) .
- Milk cartons – don't boil the damn things everytime like the way they do it here – BREAK FREE !

- Cornflakes – not sugared , try to get vitamin fortified ones without added flavourings , maybe buy drinking chocolate ( powder ) separately .
- Sooji rava
- Noodles – the plain ones . some ramen for emergencies .
- Peanuts ( plain ones , for chutney )
- Ready to use idli / dosa mix – if available , otherwise kidnap a passing mallu and get it made .
- Fruit

For the house :

- 1 ltr rice cooker
- 1 iron
- bath mat

- water bottles to keep in fridge and use on table , maybe unbreakable jug
- aluminium foil
- roll of kitchen wipes (looks like large tissue roll) only if you have a holder in kitchen .

Am very tired with all the typing - why not email the list to Choithrams and have them deliver all this ? will tell you all the super bizarre goings on here later when hand is no longer vulture like claw .

* Changed to protect identity.


  • To which one might say, bloody vegetarians! Avoid them like the plague. They'll make you feel like you're eating babies and killing mothers.

    What Mellu would know how to make an Idli Mix, they'll ask their mothers to do so.

    Oh, and condoms aren't required by any aspiring bachelor? Or is that not within the ambit of a loving sisters advice?

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 5:39 PM  

  • Hi! greeting from malaysia

    By Blogger AZZAI.COM, at 7:50 PM  

  • What about GAS???

    By Anonymous Anjali, at 10:05 AM  

  • True. I'm awaiting her next mail which will deal with fuel. Yet to come.

    By Blogger Recluse, at 11:44 AM  

  • Why dont you mail her back and ask her to copy you on future mails?

    And why is idli/dosa mix the preserve of a passing mallu?

    By Blogger Lahar, at 11:19 AM  

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